baddog

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,
"I'd like to buy some cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law!
I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

I hope I'm not duplicating an already posted link. If so, it should be posted again.
 
 

Does this go for his pedophile priests as well?  

It amazes me how Progressives try to paint the Right with their broad brush, while at the same time accusing the Right of painting the Left with a broad brush. Hypocritical is not a strong enough word to describe it. I really don't know what is worse, the fact that the writer can publish something so juvenile or the fact that many Liberals believe this garbage.

Only in Texas

......some lightening up...
Teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Sally: We went to my uncle's farm and saw some goats. They were fascinating.
Teacher: That's good Sally, but I asked you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.
Molly: Our family went to Rock City. We were fascinated.
Teacher: That's good Molly, but I asked you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated.
Little Johnny had his hand up, but the teacher knew she has been burned by little Johnny before. She finally decided that even little Johnny could not burn her with the word fascinate, so she caled on him.
Little Johnny: My aunt got a new sweater with ten buttons but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight.
 

Politicians have left parties/switched parties since forever, but let's make a big deal out of this. Think about it, if you switch parties, then what domyou actually believe? I trust none of them.

Politicians have left parties/switched parties since forever, but let's make a big deal out of this. Think about it, if you switch parties, then what domyou actually believe? I trust none of them.

......some lightening up...
Teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Sally: We went to my uncle's farm and saw some goats. They were fascinating.
Teacher: That's good Sally, but I asked you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.
Molly: Our family went to Rock City. We were fascinated.
Teacher: That's good Molly, but I asked you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated.
Little Johnny had his hand up, but the teacher knew she has been burned by little Johnny before. She finally decided that even little Johnny could not burn her with the word fascinate, so she caled on him.
Little Johnny: My aunt got a new sweater with ten buttons but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight.
 

John Elway died and went to heaven. God was showing him around and walked up to a mansion shaped like Denver Bronco helmet, turf lawn and bronco statues at the entry. God said you have done a good job on earth so hears your reward. Elway was pleased but look down the road and there was a huge mansion ten times the size of his shaped in a Dallas Cowboy helmet. Elway said, I guess that's Troy Aikman's mansion, why is it so much bigger than mine? God said no, that's my place.

Did they do a background check?

I never said these guys were scrubs. I just said that I have seen a lot better basketball. Better half court sets, much better low post games, running the floor, much better coaching.....it may have been a different era, but the game was played better. You used to play NOT to foul, now you have fouls to give. That was already coming into play back then and I hated it. You didn't foul because it was a 1-1 unless you were shooting. That made games too long so they went to out of bounds until you built up enough fouls. Bird didn't like the 3 point shot and neither do I. It allows teams to win when they should have lost, and Bird won the 3 point contest almost every year, so it sure wasn't because it was too difficult.
Anyone who has not seen Laker/Celtic championship games needs to watch. Watch the Celtics/Rockets series with Moses Malone. Magic Johnson and Larry Bird saved the NBA!
I watched Curry play when he was with Davidson. I told my wife when I first saw him play that he would be an NBA star. As for Irving, I love his Uncle Drew character. That's some funny stuff.
My biggest problem with today's players in any sport is the crybaby attitude and the "me" complex. These are team sports.

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."
"Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"
The pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."   Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,   "Which service, the 8:00 or the 10:30?"

They ran out of innings, Pats.  Innings.  C'mon man, get it right!*
*Outs also acceptable usage here in lame aggy sayings...

Ok, couple of months before I retired, on way way to work and heard Al Caldwell tell this story on KLVI.
Billy Bob was the greatest running back in the history of Texas A&M and College football.  He'd set virtually every record possible, and lead them to a National Championship.  With his college football over, he had decided he wanted to graduate with a degree, so he visited the Chancellor.  Chancellor said, Billy Bob, why the visit?  Billy Boy explained his desire for a degree.  Chancellor replied, Billy Bob, while you were a wizard at football, your performance in class was less than adequate.  I can't do it.  Word got around campus, and to the alumni to whom Billy Bob was was like a God.  The Chancellor was besieged with request and demands.  To Billy Bobs surprise, he was summoned to the Chancellors office.  Chancellor told him about the overwhelming support, and had reconsidered.  He said, Here's the deal.  Saturday, at noon, in the middle of Kyle field, I'll give you a one question quiz.  If you answer correctly, you'll get your degree and graduate.  Billy Bob was elated.
so Sat, at noon, the stage was set.  The stands were completely full, and the stadium speakers were hooked up to the microphones.  The Chancellor, after praising all in attendance said, ok Billy Bob, here's the question, and take your time, What is three times nine?  Billy Bob went deep in thot.  His brow was creased.  After a minute or so, sweat started flowing down his face.  The crowd, feeling empathy for him, started chanting in unison, Hey hey, what'd say, give him a Degree anyway, over and over.  Finally, the Chancellor ask for quiet, and told Billy Bob he needed his answer.  Billy Bob thot and thot as the murmurs from the crowd increased.  All of a sudden, Billy Boys face lit up and he said, I got it.  I got it.  You could've heard a pin drop.  Billy Boy shouted, The answer is 27.  Immediately the crowd of 102,000 students and alumni roared in unison, Give him another chance.  Give him another chance.

When I ordered, I told the waitress that I would have the "World Famous" chicken fried steak and she started laughing. Guess it was the way I said it. I was being kind of a smartarse. All the trimmings were delicious. Great home cooking.
Being truthful, I almost didn't stop because it looked a little run down. I changed my mind and went back. Glad I did. Great food and the staff was very friendly. Means a lot to me.

All the Big12 had to do to get at least one representative in the Championship Series was win one game in the last five. They went 0-5. Still better than the SEC (and ACC) though.

All you have done is defend these punks you love so much and not once have you shown any concern for a 5 year old that was raped. Your priorities suck.

TCU having one of those games where it doesn't matter who you throw at them, they are gonna hit it. CC showing why they deserve to be here.
Arizona putting up the best numbers even though they lost one game.
Since Mack is having such a good time watching the Big XII lose out, the only comeback I have  is sec is second to Big XII. Had 3 teams in the CWS to their ONE. And, since they did better than aggie, don't they win a national championship trophy? Lol.
Hey, that's baseball.

Change of plan. National lunchlady convention in San Antonio. Staying in Wimberly Inn now. John Wayne and Richard Widmark will have to wait another time.
Might go to Johnson City and eat at Hill Country Cupboard that serves a world famous chicken fried steak. Had it before and it is good. Also going to Saltlick again. Very good food. Making myself hungry.

TCU having one of those games where it doesn't matter who you throw at them, they are gonna hit it. CC showing why they deserve to be here.
Arizona putting up the best numbers even though they lost one game.
Since Mack is having such a good time watching the Big XII lose out, the only comeback I have  is sec is second to Big XII. Had 3 teams in the CWS to their ONE. And, since they did better than aggie, don't they win a national championship trophy? Lol.
Hey, that's baseball.

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.
For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat when a lady walks by."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you were better looking it would lift itself."

......some lightening up...
Teacher asked the class to use the word fascinate in a sentence.
Sally: We went to my uncle's farm and saw some goats. They were fascinating.
Teacher: That's good Sally, but I asked you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating.
Molly: Our family went to Rock City. We were fascinated.
Teacher: That's good Molly, but I asked you to use the word fascinate, not fascinated.
Little Johnny had his hand up, but the teacher knew she has been burned by little Johnny before. She finally decided that even little Johnny could not burn her with the word fascinate, so she caled on him.
Little Johnny: My aunt got a new sweater with ten buttons but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight.
 

I pointed that out in the second paragraph in my response to Dove.   But since many Muslims are terrorists, and their corrupted Islam Imam's have taught them infidels must be killed.  The problem big girl, when we let them immigrate, how does our Govt know the peaceful Muslims from the terrorist?
and you keep bringing up McVeigh.  He was a terrorist, and has been executed.  But he only had two others with him.  It wasn't hundreds of thousands like ISIS.  and sadly in 1995, he actually killed 168 people.  That attack was politically motivated, and none done since.  But there are 3,200 dead at the hands of Muslims. Please explain to me why you're evidently outraged/fixated at McVeigh, but not these Muslims?

Never been to Idaho (came close when at Glacier National Park) but I always liked them. I love when the children, I mean democrats, are having sit-ins over gun control, states like Idaho are carrying out their own agendas to the contrary.

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