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Funny Things Coaches say


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Here's one, post yours.

I love one-liners coaches use to motivate, or sometimes things they say that are not necessarily meant to be; but are funny. The best is when they're scolding!

WHAT'S THE MATTER? (Couldn't hear what the kid says) "THIS IS FOOTBALL SON, YOU'RE GOING TO GET HIT! GET USED TO IT!!!!"

Another Coach always says, "THAT'S A SIN!!" for anything done wrong. "DROPPING THE BALL IS A SIN!"

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coach joe "bone" washington-"get me a reciever!!!!!!!" funny guy that's a second team reciever goes and stands next to coach off the bench. coach begins to tell him the play to send in.looks into the helmet after he tells him the play,then says "damn it,i said get me a reciever !!!!!!"

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I've interviewed so many coaches during my years working for newspapers around here that a lot of the quotes have faded into memory ... nice way of saying I'm getting old.

One area coach in a quote for a story in The Enterprise:

"He's so strong, he's got muscle in his sh*t ..."

Of course, I didn't use it in the story ...

Former Lumberton coach whose contract was non-renewed for a story in the Hardin County News ...

"I was fired because of illness and fatigue. Two school board members and an administrator were sick and tired of me."

A great quote from an Orangefield pole vaulter ... those of you who remember Enterprise sports writer Kenton Brooks will understand how this one would make it all the way to the sports editor before someone said HOLY CRAP ...

"In order to get deeper penetration into the box, I had to get a higher grip on my pole."

I swear to you ... I almost fell out of my chair when that one came across my desk.

Had another coach tell me that he preaches to his kids every day that

"There is no 'me' in team."

Ummm. Ok.

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our defensive coordinator last year, coach pratt always used to try to get on the db's, as soon as...and i mean immediately when the qb's hand went up he was screaming "PICK IT OFF!!" before the offense could remember what routes to run...it was funny we still laugh about that.

also my favorite coach of all time coach bolton had a pretty self explanatory way of saying we werent performing well...."we look like S*** on a white rag"

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We had a coach that after a bad call, called the umpire over for a conversation, all we could see was the coach talking with a big smile on his face in a very calm manner.  After a second the umpire goes nuts and throws the coach out. I ask the coach the next day what he had said that so upset the ump.

Coach responded that he simpley told the ump to "go have sex with his self and he took it badly".  He never used a cuss word but got his message across.  I laughed for a week.

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From no paticulare coach

1: Walk it Off

2: Son, your slower than paint dryin in a rain storm

3: Get yourself a forward gear

4: Forward is a good direction

5: I could put an egg on your helmet and it wouldn't break

6: They play patty cake in the Girls PE class

7: Are you going to be a competitor today

8: Stop wastin someone else's air

9: You could be a PE all-star with that attitude

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old middle school coach would always say...

"Now go knock a snot bubble!"

"Kiss a FAT HOGG!"

a few of you groves people might recognize it...

Also couple years back when we were running a trick play and one of the players was supposed to "act" like he came off the field but stayed on and ran a route the coach started yelling for him to get off the field while everyone on the sideline was trying to keep him from giving the play away

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