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Interracial relationships.


king

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3 hours ago, king said:

Do they make you feel uncomfortable? Are you for or against?

What I mean in interracial is not just black and white. 

I am a product of an interracial relationship. My father was full blood Mexican, mother Caucasian. They were married for 55 years before my dad passed away in 2010. My mom passed away 5 years later.

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43 minutes ago, LumRaiderFan said:

I am not uncomfortable or against it...although neither would matter,,,it's their business.

Anyone that says there is something wrong with an interracial marriage is a racist, plain and simple...and I don't use that word very often. 

I'll have to disagree with you on this point.

True story: I was talking with an acquaintance a while back, and he made the statement, "I would never marry a black girl". So I asked him why. He said that he has seen first hand what divorce can do to the kids in a family. He continued by saying that he knows marriage can be awfully hard, and the couple must work every day to keep their marriage working. He felt that an interracial marriage would have to endure too much outside strife, especially from close friends and relatives...to the point of making the marriage unworkable and ending in a divorce...which he would never put his kids through.

You might disagree with his line of thinking, but it definitely does not contain any shred of racism on his part. 

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12 minutes ago, Englebert said:

I'll have to disagree with you on this point.

True story: I was talking with an acquaintance a while back, and he made the statement, "I would never marry a black girl". So I asked him why. He said that he has seen first hand what divorce can do to the kids in a family. He continued by saying that he knows marriage can be awfully hard, and the couple must work every day to keep their marriage working. He felt that an interracial marriage would have to endure too much outside strife, especially from close friends and relatives...to the point of making the marriage unworkable and ending in a divorce...which he would never put his kids through.

You might disagree with his line of thinking, but it definitely does not contain any shred of racism on his part. 

I don't disagree with that point of view at all...it will, no doubt, be difficult...especially in the south.

But I stand by my point...anyone that thinks there is something WRONG with an interracial marriage (not hard, wrong) is a racist. 

 

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13 minutes ago, Englebert said:

I'll have to disagree with you on this point.

True story: I was talking with an acquaintance a while back, and he made the statement, "I would never marry a black girl". So I asked him why. He said that he has seen first hand what divorce can do to the kids in a family. He continued by saying that he knows marriage can be awfully hard, and the couple must work every day to keep their marriage working. He felt that an interracial marriage would have to endure too much outside strife, especially from close friends and relatives...to the point of making the marriage unworkable and ending in a divorce...which he would never put his kids through.

You might disagree with his line of thinking, but it definitely does not contain any shred of racism on his part. 

It's for the kids... right?

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13 minutes ago, LumRaiderFan said:

I don't disagree with that point of view at all...it will. no doubt be difficult, especially in the south.

But I stand by my point...anyone that thinks there is something WRONG with an interracial marriage (not hard, wrong) is a racist. 

 

The guy I pointed to didn't think interracial marriage was wrong...so you are right. I misinterpreted your statement to mean "wrong" in the sense as "disgusting" and not to be encouraged or something to which one would ever involve themselves with.

And the guy was from Michigan. Go figure.

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55 minutes ago, Englebert said:

I'm not sure what point you are trying to make. I'm not agreeing with the guy. I often use this story as an example of how labelling someone as racist is often just a misunderstanding/misinterpretation of someone's views.

No real point. I don't know the person and even if I did, I can't read minds. 

I am always suspicious of any issue when children are brought in as a reasoning for a decision. It doesn't mean that it isn't true, I just think it is a convenience. 

Ask him this if the topic ever comes up again. What if the black girl was someone that he found beautiful and got along with great, and..... she couldn't have kids. So there is no reason to wonder about children being divided, the strife that they might have been put through, etc. 

I could care less why someone doesn't want to marry or date outside their race or how a person views such relationships. That is a personal issue. 

But when they say, it's for the kids......    :)

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4 hours ago, tvc184 said:

No real point. I don't know the person and even if I did, I can't read minds. 

I am always suspicious of any issue when children are brought in as a reasoning for a decision. It doesn't mean that it isn't true, I just think it is a convenience. 

Ask him this if the topic ever comes up again. What if the black girl was someone that he found beautiful and got along with great, and..... she couldn't have kids. So there is no reason to wonder about children being divided, the strife that they might have been put through, etc. 

I could care less why someone doesn't want to marry or date outside their race or how a person views such relationships. That is a personal issue. 

But when they say, it's for the kids......    :)

It was 20 years ago, and he was single with no kids at the time. I don't know the guy. We were socializing at a wedding in which we had mutual friends. I haven't seen him since. He did say that his parents divorced when he was around 10, 11 years old or something (I can't remember exactly, just remember it was pre-adolescence.) He mentioned that some of his friends parents had been divorced. It seems he was still struggling with the idea of divorce and how hard it was on him personally. I don't know. I do know that racism/prejudicism was not his motive for making the comment. So my armchair psychological analysis based on a ten minute conversation was that he was deeply hurt due to his parents divorce and he was vowing not to put his kids through the same thing by naively thinking he was going to hand-pick a wife based on his strict qualifications. I probably would have forgotten the whole conversation except for me coming to the realization that I almost incorrectly branded someone a racist. That was an epiphany for me as an example to not judge too quick.

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I'd like to see all marriages last.  Any marriage that can last, is a good one, be it interracial or not.  As always, it takes commitment.  Think about those vows.  You see couples celebrating their 50 Year Anniversary, and think they never had arguments, or cross words?  Can't imagine that.  If you love someone enough to make that commitment, race doesn't matter.

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The issue (if any) would be cultural adjustments, not much unlike 2 people who marry of different religions or lack of.....I can certainly understand the thinking that some use kids as an excuse. With that said, if two people are truly devout Christian and __________ (fill in blank.. Muslim, Atheist, etc) how would you raise your kids? To believe, not to believe, or what to believe....same could even be true of two Christians of different denominations........relationships are hard enough....I personally can't understand intentionally adding to that difficulty.......On that note...my daughter dates a black guy....very well educated, (working on his masters) respectful, and fun to be around........we have spent time with our whole family and his whole family....taken him on multiple family vacations....great guy!

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To me it's all about the person, and color of skin has nothing to do with it.  I'm white, and married to a white woman, but if I were single I would have no qualms about dating someone from another race if I was attracted to them.  I have a sister who was married to a Guatemalan, and he's about as good a guy as you'll ever know.  They unfortunately divorced, but I never had a problem calling him family, and still have a friendly relationship with him.  I also have several cousins who are or were in interracial relationships.  One is in the national guard, and so is her husband.  He's a big black guy from inner city Houston, and I'd do anything for him.  Great guy.  Another is engaged to a black man i haven't met (live in New Mexico), but by all accounts he's a stand up guy who takes care of her and her son.  I have no issues with their relationship.  On the other hand, I have a cousin who had a kid with a wannabe gangster who hasn't had much at all to do with her or the kid since.  He's a douchebag, and I wouldn't pee on him if he was on fire (although I might if he wasn't).  So yeah, like I said, I don't have a problem with any relationship, regardless of race, as long as it's a healthy relationship.

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7 minutes ago, bullets13 said:

To me it's all about the person, and color of skin has nothing to do with.  I'm white, and married to a white woman, but if I were single I would have no qualms about dating someone from another race if I was attracted to them.  I have a sister who was married to a Guatemalan, and he's about as good a guy as you'll ever know.  They unfortunately divorced, but I never had a problem calling him family, and still have a friendly relationship with him.  I also have several cousins who are or were in interracial relationships.  One is in the national guard, and so is her husband.  He's a big black guy from inner city Houston, and I'd do anything for him.  Great guy.  Another is engaged to a black man i haven't met (live in New Mexico), but by all accounts he's a stand up guy who takes care of her and her son.  I have no issues with their relationship.  On the other hand, I have a cousin who had a kid with a wannabe gangster who hasn't had much at all to do with her or the kid since.  He's a douchebag, and I wouldn't pee on him if he was on fire (although I might if he wasn't).  So yeah, like I said, I don't have a problem with any relationship, regardless of race, as long as it's a healthy relationship.

I'm going to steal this line. :)

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Interracial relationships are much more common and accepted than they were twenty years ago and much less troublesome on the kids than it used to be (even though I know it can still exist.)

You'll be hard pressed to find someone that's not a mixed race of some kind these days.

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My dad is bi-racial. I had a white grandfather.  I assume he was white.  More than likely he was caucasian, as opposed to being mexican or from some other racial group.  I am sure he was not black, for what that's worth.  I don't know much about that side of my DNA.  All this happened in Bryan, Tx.  My mom & my dad divorced when I was about 5. I met him again when i was 25 or so, out in LA, Cali.  I met his side of the family when I was about 27 or 28.

When I say his side of the family I am talking about my grandmother and her children, my aunts and uncles. I never met this grandmother, so I am a bit more candid than I probably should be.  I hardly know this side of my life, unfortunately.  Anyway, she had six children.  Three were bi racial, three were from black men.  Call it what you will, but biologically that is what happened, or so I've been told.  If you look at the extended family it is obvious.

Once when I was about 28 or so, I was in Bryan attending a funeral for one of my Aunts, who I never got to meet.  That was a strange feeling.  As we were walking from the grave site, one of the Aunts who I had met said to me "Darryl, look at me".  And I did.  She looked just like my dad, who had passed away by this time.  That was her way of telling me that she & my dad not only had the same mother, they had the same biological father as well. 

Race, sex & ethnicity in America, especially in the South.  It is a deep subject.  Side note: quite a few of my relatives in Bryan are resonably doing good.  Several of them, both the light skinned and the darker ones, are college graduates.   Some of them went to Prairie View, some to Sam Hous st, UH UT, but none chose to attend Tx A&M.  I am not sure why that is.  Not trying to throw shade at A&M but that is what happened.  I need to end this.

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  • 4 months later...

Interesting that someone would ask that question, It's not my business and i don't care one way or another, I noticed someone had to mention gays in this thread and that was some- what disturbing also, because if it doesn't affect you directly it shouldn't bother you.

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